I am not interested in dating anyone. When I am again, it will be because I found someone exciting. I was really excited about two guys this year & nothing became of it. It was a little disappointing but it kind of reawakened a part of me I thought I was supposed to lose with experience & the jadedness that comes with it. I want butterflies. I want intensity. No more settling for people I simply like.

I am beginning to think relationships with people are very much like moon phases. My last relationship I always felt like I missed the right moment to meet my ex. He always wanted me to be this pretentious girl that dressed like Zooey Deschanel* or something nostalgic like that & I had shed that personality just a few months before I met him. He isn’t the only guy I feel this has happened with, just so no one gets the wrong idea. I also feel like I am becoming a better fit to other people in this phase that I didn’t connect so well with before.

*I feel slightly resentful about Zooey Deschanel & all sorts of things related to fashion or anything hipster-ish because it always felt like a kick in the teeth. He couldn’t help it because he never knew me then. I was becoming someone else & it always felt like the new me was never appreciated. I created a new facebook because I was sick of attracting people who were only interested in the old me. I don’t want people to remember the well dressed Ramona. I want people to remember the funny Ramona. And yes, he would have cheated on well dressed Ramona because people never know what they want anyway.